…On New Year’s Resolutions.
Why do we bother? They just make us feel even worse when we carry on living like pigs well into the New Year and beyond. I want to be able to sit revelling in my own gluttonous delight as I gorge on all the Christmas deliciousness still calling out to me from the fridge, not to be obliged to mentally flagellate myself when the inevitable happens and the temptation proves too much for me to handle. And, frankly, I’m doing my bit for penny-pinching, aren’t I? What a waste it would be if I let it all go off un-eaten and un-appreciated.
So this year I’m not bothering, and while you all sit trembling, beads of clammy desperation running off your tortured, deprived brows, I’ll be happily stuffing my face and fatly loving every single second of it. That is all.